Is Fear Holding You Back?


It is normal to have some fears in your life, but some fears can be debilitating. There are two main types of fears. There are the ones that keep you safe and the ones that prevent you from leading a healthy life or prevent you from obtaining something you want in life. For example, if you are walking across a shaky footbridge which connects two mountains and if you feel off the bridge you would die or be severely injured, being a little scared while crossing it would be expected.  Now, if you have a panic attack when you see a puppy, who’s with its owner, on the sidewalk during your morning commute, that might be an irrational fear. Some people who have fears know where the fear came from, but other may not know the origin. Some fears may not affect your daily life, but do you have to live with them? If you are deathly afraid of spiders, mice, public speaking or other common fears, what would happen if you didn’t have these fears any longer?  How much better would you feel if that fear was no longer in your life?

Is My Fear That Bad?

I had a client, let’s name him Jack, who had a lifelong fear of worms. Now if he lives somewhere like San Diego, CA where he doesn’t  see worms often, he could probably live with this fear without much effect how his life. However, Jack lives on the east coast where worms come out when it rains which happens quite often when it rains.  After it rains, Jack walks down the street and is traumatized when he sees worms. Now, this is a situation where it would be helpful to get over his fear. Imagine how different his life would be if he felt neutral when he saw worms? Versus traumatized? Do you have a fear that does something similar to you?

One of my primary fears is of sharks. Now I lived in Australia for a semester during college and would go snorkeling often. At times, I wanted to see a shark and looked for them while in the ocean. I am not scared of seeing a shark; I am afraid that a shark will see me swimming on top of the water and mistake me for a seal (shark food)! This fear doesn’t prevent me from going to the ocean, on boat rides, or other similar activities. However, it did stop me from enjoying ocean swimming in La Jolla shores a few years back. Could I get rid of this fear, yes, but I am not sure if I want to get rid of my fear of sharks.

To help you determine if your fear is something you can live with, I’d ask a few questions.

Where is the fear on a scale of 1-10? Ten being extremely high. Is the fear preventing you from living a healthy life? Are there goals you desire to accomplish, but fear is stopping yours from obtaining it. For example, would like to go to Hawaii but have a fear of flying? Have you always dreamed of being an actor but you are scared of public speaking?

How do we get fears?

Some fears stem from a traumatic event that happened in the past for instants if you almost drown in a swimming pool as a child, you may have a fear of pools. Family members, parents, and siblings can contribute to fears. Let me share more about my shark fear and how I believe this fear came to life!

shark in pool.jpg

If you’ve read some of my earlier blogs, you may know that I am the youngest of four. For those of you who are the youngest or have younger siblings, you may know where I am about to go with this story.  When I was five years old, a family member took my siblings and me to see Jaws in 3D, thanks, Aunt Jenny and Uncle Mike!  After seeing that movie, my older siblings would regularly tell me Jaws was in the water any time when went swimming whether it was in a pool, lake, or ocean. As an adult, you know sharks don’t live in pools or fresh water but as a five-year-old, what did I know?!  Each summer, as I was enjoying the summer break swimming in the neighbors' pool, I often remember hearing the theme song of Jaws being sung by one of my older siblings. Dah da, dah da, dah da…. I believe this is how I developed my fear.

For those of you who believe in past lives, it is said that fears can be related to what happened to you in a past life. If you died in a car accident on a major highway in a past life, you might have a fear of driving on highways.

What can you do about it?

If your fear doesn’t have a significant effect on your life, you can do nothing and live with it, but if it is creating obstacles in your life, you can get rid of it! Hypnosis and Neuro-linguistic programming can be used to eliminate unwanted fears in most cases easily and rapidly. Do you remember Jack who feared worms? After a 10-minute session using NLP and Hypnosis, Jack no longer has a fear of worms. 

How can you eliminate a fear or lessen its effects on you? It depends on the individual. For some, it may be to desensitize yourself of the fear, for others, it might be to go to the cause of the issue, and lastly, it might be using the meta-pattern from NLP.


If you are ready to get rid of your fear once and for all, contact Happiness Now. to speak to a coach or Hypnotherapist; why live with fear if you don’t have to?

Tamara Small

Happiness Now

Hypnotherapist & Coaching