Being an Active Listener Isn’t Always Good!

You Don’t Have to Listen
In general, being an active listener is an excellent quality to possess, but there are times when listening can be harmful to your mental and physical health. Yes, you heard me correctly, listening could be bad for your health. As young children through our adulthood, people are regularly telling us things. Some of the things that are said are good while other things are not so good. Therefore, it is crucial for you to decide when it is or is not important to listen.
When is it bad to listen?

I want to step back a second to provide you with some context of why I am bringing up this topic. Most hypnotists learn about direct suggestion during their certification training. The hypnotist uses direct implications, positively, to help clients overcome issues, phobia, or to improve things you’re your confidence. The hypnotist will use these or similar statements you will feel more relaxed, prosperous, and confident knowing you can do it. What you probably don’t realize is that people, who are not a hypnotist, in and around your life are providing your direct suggestions all the time.  You might be thinking, you’re crazy right now but keep reading, and you’ll see what I mean.

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Most doctors are quite smart and make miracles happen every day, but just like any profession, they are not perfect and can make mistakes. In a few short statements, can sentence patients to death.  Have you heard a doctor say “you have three months to live” or a comment similar to this? Three months later to the day, the person does die. Do doctors have a crystal ball to tell them exactly when a person will die? You might be saying, yes but doctors have studied and researched diseases, so they should know, right? Yes, doctors are smart, but they are not gods. Every person is different, and everyone's bodies will act differently to diseases, illnesses, and treatments. So, when a doctor makes a direct statement like you have three months to live, he is doing it based on what he/she has seen in the past and what he believes your current situation is but how does he know how your body will react?
Recently, I received a call from my sister letting me know my dad was taken to the Emergency Room (ER). While there, he underwent an MRI which showed a mass in his body. The doctor stated he thinks it might be cancer and scheduled an appointment with an oncologist for my dad. During the appointment with the oncologist, he said that if he were a betting man he would guess it’s lymphoma. The doctor then told my dad that lymphoma is treatable but not curable.

The doctor has already told my dad that he is not curable, without having a definite prognosis nor doing a biopsy of the mass! This type of statements, coming from a trusted authority figure, is devastating no matter what now, my dad believes what he has, we still don’t know, is not curable. When people are injured, ill, or desperate to be cured, they can be in a highly suggestible state.

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Teachers, Do you Know the Effect you have?
Teachers have a significant influence on children and perhaps spend more time with their students than some of the children’s parents do. Given this considerable time, it is paramount teachers use clean language that children won’t find harmful. There are teachers throughout the world that are making positive changes in children’s lives, but some teachers may be doing more harm than good. I bet most of you can recall a negative statement you’ve received from one of your teachers in the past. It’s not that they want to damage you or cause you long-term harm, but some of them do.  During hypnosis sessions with clients, there are many times I will regress a client, who is having issues with something in their life, and they will be taken back to an experience in elementary school. During this experience, one of their teachers said something negative, shameful, or embarrassing my client which had a negative impact. It may have seemed harmless at the time but is still affecting my client in adulthood. Some of the comments may include you’re just not a math person. You’ll never amount to anything if you don’t stop… Don’t you ever stop talking? What is wrong with you? These types of statements can leave lasting effects on a child. I know that there are excellent teachers out there that change lives every day, but these phrases or similar ones, when spoken by a teacher, can cause so much harm.  

You, Your Friends, Family, and Strangers
What have your friends and family said to you? Can’t you do that? You’ll never make it? You’re not normal? Your brother is the smart one; you’re the pretty one? What do you say to you?
Your language and labels can hurt you. I’m an alcoholic; I have anxiety, I will always deal with this throughout my life. I can’t do the math; I’ll never be able to do that. How you speak to and about yourself, can limit your potential or keep you stuck in a particular phase of your life.
Be careful how you or someone else speaks to you. If someone is providing unhealthy negative direct suggestions to you, don’t listen to them. Come to your conclusion about who you are, and now you should proceed in life.
If you’d like to help to get over something someone has said to you, contact Happiness Now.